🤗 hi.

the past month indoors (or at least "at home") has been both easy and complicated. it's been easy in that it actually isn't much a departure from my life before all of the new restrictions. france went into "confinement" mid-march and will stay that way at least through the 11th of may. though, it'll likely be much longer than that.

sure, i was eating at restaurants, drinking my morning coffee in a café, and could leave my house without a signed and time stamped document stating my "essential" reason for being outdoors(!) but beyond that, not a ton has changed.

at the same time, many people's lives are now drastically different. opportunities, those certainties we had, the idea of what's truly important, and everyone's concept of necessity has changed.

living in this "in-between" state makes decision making difficult, almost paralyzing, and sometimes near impossible. it's hard to evaluate options using a former (now foreign) reality as a baseline, knowing your individual world might look drastically different today than a month ago, or again in six months from today.

how can you make decisions, let alone big ones, without any idea for what comes next? i've had a hard enough time deciding whether or not it's ethical to order and eat delivery, the bigger questions are even scarier.

what's worth spending time on?
how do you evaluate what's important anymore?
who knows the value of what your time is now "worth" professionally?
how can you trust your gut when it feels easier to choose the safe route out of fear?

the answers are obviously different for everyone.

i'm still struggling to come up with my own answers but recently i've been leaning on something called human design. full disclosure: it's crazy. but i've found it to be a helpful tool for introspection. large grain of salt here: the founder was "visited" during a mystical experience in the 1980's and he essentially cranked out the "system of human design" in four days—combining astrology, i ching, chakras and kabbalah. you could certainly call it a pseudoscience, but i've found it's pretty interesting.

if you've got some extra time, i recommend getting your chart from jovian archive or mybodygraph (both free) and then digging into a human design book (i read "human design" by chetan parkyn) on my kindle. they position it as a system to help you make decisions based on how you're wired.

my chart looks like this:

to start to read your chart there are three areas to focus: your type, strategy and authority. in my case, i'm a manifesting generator, my strategy is to respond and my authority is emotional. in a nutshell this means that i belong to the group that's the most populous, the generators. we have a lot of energy but it's best used when we use the strategy of response or reacting to something, rather than initiating ourselves. my authority (emotional) says to take the time i need to ride the wave of emotions when coming to a decision, in other words sleep on it. or keep sleeping on it. until the answer is clear.

so for now, looks like i'm sleeping until further notice.

if you end up getting your chart, share it with me! i'd love to see if you think it fits and i can share specifics from the book.

i miss you and i love you.

-x

blindfolded decisions